eye's jokes
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
Okay Air Attack Productions... Beat This-Falling-By watersharky Productions and TD.
My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya, Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love, Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up, Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up, Now you the one that I'm calling, Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking, I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya, Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough, Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya, Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya, Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, I'll never give my all again, 'Cause I'm sick of falling down, When I open up and give my trust, They find a way to break it down, Tear me up inside, and you break me down.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!
So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"
The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"
Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!
So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"
So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"
Why did Sally get a black eye? Because she decided to play football.