eye's jokes

I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.

He just turned a blind eye.

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

I could never date a midget.

We would never see eye to eye.

What's a bull's favorite body part?

An eye-BULL!

What did one hurricane say to the other?

"I got my EYE on you!"

Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.

It's also why he has no eyes.

So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.

So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."

"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."

The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

"How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you haven't told her twice.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you haven't told her twice already.

What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?

Wet noses.

Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, just maybe you'll find a brain back there!

Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?

To get to Birds Eye.

Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.

jokes got me like : 😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

"Balls" got me like: 😂

Tazzaro got me like: 😂