Existence jokes
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
Your hairline looks like Thanos snapped your hair out of existence.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?
Your hairline is so nonexistent, even the universe couldn't find it.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
What do you call someone with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.
I'm alive, baby!
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
My live.
Your life, ahhahaha!