Existence jokes
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
In the realm of whispers and shadows, Where dreams dance on the edge of reality, There resides a peculiar soul, Known as Alexander Fisher.
With eyes that hold secrets untold, And a heart that beats to its own rhythm, He tiptoes through the night, On a quest to embrace the extraordinary.
His hands, delicate as a feather's touch, Reach out to the heavens above, Grasping at ethereal strands of wonder, In the form of vibrant, floating balloons.
With each step, the balloons whisper, Carrying tales of forgotten dreams, And the untamed yearnings of the heart, Alexander Fisher's silent companions.
He creeps through moonlit streets, An enigma in a world seeking answers, As the balloons trail behind him, Painting the night with magic's hues.
Together, they wander through the darkness, Where imagination blooms and thrives, In a delicate ballet of dreams, Alexander Fisher's fantastical symphony.
The world watches, captivated, By this balladeer of whimsical desires, As he weaves his spell, one balloon at a time, Enchanting souls with his ethereal art.
For in his delicate grasp, balloons become more, They transcend their earthly existence, Becoming vessels of hope and joy, Guiding hearts towards the realm of possibility.
Alexander Fisher, the dreamer, the poet, Creeps through life, a gentle force, With his balloons as his faithful companions, He reminds us to embrace the extraordinary.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.