Existence jokes

If possible, I refrain from brunching celebrities. My path is smooth. The table receives the branching.

When I arrived at my friend's house and, after a long time, I was given permission to pick from the branches and graze the dog, I agreed. Then the work begins. "No, no money," I replied, "that's why I'm a burden to the world that hurts me."

And when I told them, they told me and said they were there. If I had a job, I would be fired on the first day for bad behavior. The best solution is to avoid this situation.

Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.

What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?

Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!

What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?

Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

My wife treats me like God!

She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?

Life's full of ups and downs :D <3

Is it so? Do people get freedom?

Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.

You know I wish life was shorter?

I want it over.

Why don't you have a life?

Because you're ugly.

Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.