Existence jokes
I'm alive, baby!
Why did the Orphan have imaginary parents?
Because his last parents existed.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because anyone can take it.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
My favorite joke is my life.
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
Your own life, hah!
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
Your hairline looks like Thanos snapped your hair out of existence.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
A true God would be godless himself.