Existence jokes
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Here's a joke: Your life decisions.
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
Me and my life.
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Want to hear a joke?
My life. Get it?
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
I'm life.
Your life. That's all.
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.