Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Your hairline is so nonexistent, even the universe couldn't find it.
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
I would make a joke about America... However, the fact it exists is a joke in itself.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
