Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
Ex Jokes
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
My ex's love for me :(
I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
#takemebacksophie
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?
