What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
So a girl says to her ex I can't get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we've the girl replies I see you in everything like when I'm walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”😂
#takemebacksophie
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
i just found out my ex got stabbed today....lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
What do you call a no r-med T-rex
A T-ex
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
I had the worst day of my life, my 13 rear old EX got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard, did I mention that we were in Syria?
My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex's perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
Ex girlfriend “i can smell fish” Ex boyfriend “i can smell shit” Ex boyfriend “ well how many boys swam down there” Ex girlfriend “20!” Fish “ wasn’t mean I don’t swim around mistakes”
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
