Ex jokes
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...
J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*
A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.
Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo
What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?
A DG (dee gay)
What does lava use when it can't walk properly?
A volCANEo
What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?
They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)
What is Satan's favorite DJ?
MarshHELLo
What do neck breakers use?
Snapchat
What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?
Instagraham crackers
Is this the last joke?
No
What is similar between a dog and my ex?
They are both commonly known as bitches
What number has a flu from a pig?
Nine flu (swine flu)
What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?
BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who is the best anime girl?
Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank
Why did Sally get caned?
Because old men hurriCANED.
That was all
OR WAS IT?
Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.
That's cringe, bro. The ex weas pisitive.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.