Evidence

Evidence jokes

Hooker

    • The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.

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    • Rape

    • I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

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    • Standard

    • I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

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    • Genocide

    • If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

    If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

    If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

    If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

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    • Cremation

    • I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?

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    • Body

    • One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

    Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

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    • Ex

    • Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

    Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

    Dora

    • Dora, where do we go next?

    Kids at home: Area 51.

    Meanwhile,

    Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.

    1 day later,

    Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!

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    • Suicide

    • Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

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