Evidence jokes

A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."

How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?

She comes home with sparkles on her face.

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!

UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!

Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!

Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."

Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.