Evers jokes

Shooter

    • So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

    And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

    Evers memes

    Friend

    • My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

    Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*

  • 1

    • Wine

    • POV: Wine Taster in hell.

    I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

    The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

    "Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

    "Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

    Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

  • 1

    • Ocean

    • What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

    Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.

    Woman

    • Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

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