Evers jokes

The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?

IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.

Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with.

Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?

SawCon deez nutz!

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Ever tried African food?

Neither have they.

I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.

We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.

Then, she asked me flirtatiously,

"Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet."

She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,

"Mom, are you still awake?"

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

The only joke my dad ever made was me.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What’s the most played song in Africa?

Have you ever seen the rain?

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.