Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday 🤭
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
me: do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
bank teller: [eyes wide] uhhhhh
me: *scratches head with gun* man, i hate it when this happens
just got a iphone 12 for my brother, best trade i've ever made
so I and my friend were talking this time, I asked them what they would do if they ever met rengoku they said that they would probably like shake his hand or sm but I said I would lick his forehead. wtf
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? -- Because they are really good at it.
If you are ever bored punch an orphan what are they gunna do tell their parents?
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
I have a the best life coach ever, because he taught to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don't forget that they can hide but they cant run.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history
two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't ever find home.
Me: have you ever tried african food
You: no
Me: they haven't either
