Event jokes
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
I love birthdays 🍰
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
I put the fun in funeral.
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
Me: I know a good 9/11 joke, but it would probably go over your head.
The Twin Towers: No, it won’t.
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
9/11, 911, same thing.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
Why is 10 always scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
I usually don't make 9/11 jokes, but they just are fire.