Event jokes
Watching the 9/11 documentaries is just watching a kill cam.
Louie being born.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
Who are the fastest readers of mankind?
The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
9/11 jokes are the bomb.
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
Why is Ahmed gay? Because he created 9/11. Hahahahahahahhahahahahaa
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
What is a neonatal's first time in the world?
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
Getting ready for gangbang.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.