Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.
Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
What did Jarrah say to Hanjour?
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
We were making jokes before the second tower even fell!
