Event jokes
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
9/11, 911, same thing.
She blew on it, and it went hard.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
I usually don't make 9/11 jokes, but they just are fire.
Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.
Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.