Event jokes

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!

I love birthdays 🍰

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

What do gingers miss most at a grate party?

The invitation.

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

WJE officially a gone memory.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?

Me time.

What is a terrorist's DJ name?

Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.

What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?

They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.

911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.

Time for a remake!

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

What did the Titanic say as it sank?

I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?

A: It's already done for you.