Event jokes
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.
2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.
3) 10 dead babies.
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
9/11.
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
Twin Towers, more like dead towers.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!