Event jokes
Why was 10 scared? Because he was in-between 9/11.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?
The finish line at the marathon bombing.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Making 9/11 jokes? It's just plane wrong.
Where did Sally go during the attack?
Everywhere.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Bro, the airplanes that crashed, darn it, they got MVP!
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
Why were the tenants of the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they got PLANE.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.