Event jokes
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
What's a building's first crush? A plane.
I've been drinking from a tall cup.
His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Memes
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
His girls clapped, BTW. 😬