Event jokes

Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?

My Friend: What’s that?

Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

I love birthdays 🍰

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.

What do gingers miss most at a grate party?

The invitation.

What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?

Fall Guys.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.

What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?

They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.

Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.

What did the Titanic say as it sank?

I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?

A: It's already done for you.

Why did the skeleton not go to prom?

Because he had no body to go with.

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.