Event jokes

Watching the 9/11 documentaries is just watching a kill cam.

Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.

My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex.

I was bloody, sore, and but at least my dad came.

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Well, probably the person in front of them.

What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.

Stephen Hawking missed assembly this morning.

I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?

A jump rope!

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

Ummmm 67.

Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.

Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.

How do you call a very long terrorist?

9/11.

Why was number 10 scared?

It was surrounded by 9/11.

Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.

What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?

Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.