Event jokes
Making 9/11 jokes? It's just plane wrong.
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
I love birthdays 🍰
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.