Event jokes
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
Q: Why do Americans suck at Clash Royale?
A: Because they already lost two towers!
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.