Event jokes

Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.

A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.

Why is America the fastest readers?

They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.

And then it hit me.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

What did the Titanic say as it sank?

I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered burgers, but what they got was plane.

Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.

I rate it 9/11.

Thank God I went on the tenth.

I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.