Event jokes
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
Memes
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Making 9/11 jokes? It's just plane wrong.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?