Event jokes
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
Making 9/11 jokes? It's just plane wrong.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.