Event

Event jokes

Marathon

Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

Birthday

What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!

Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.

Papa

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

Memes

Funeral

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Party

Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?

Because you need to planet.

Funeral

Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?

Because Sally wrote the invitations!

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in history?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.

Jumper

What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?

Their ankles.

People

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.