Event jokes
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.
Memes
Good luck getting her out
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
Making 9/11 jokes? It's just plane wrong.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.