Ethics jokes
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
If at first you don't succeed, cheat.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
I fucked my mom.
Kill yourself!
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.
We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢