Ethics jokes

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."

Bro, wait, are cannibals real, though?

Anyway, my joke is if you eat yourself, are you a cannibal?

Think about it, lol. Haha.

My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.

I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!

“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.

Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...

All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

My grandfather told me I’m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.