Ethics jokes

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?

Slaves.

Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

I bully orphans. What are they gonna do? Cry to their parents?

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!

Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?

Because he punched dumbos like you people!

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.