Ethics jokes

Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."

"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."

"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

Suicide is population control, republished.

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."

If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?

Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.

If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

So when my parents say no to "isms," I say, "Can I be homophobic?"

What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.

What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?

They both worry about how she will turn out!