Ethics jokes

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!

What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?

A: Where's the holy baby?

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.

If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

...

I'm still trying to think of an answer.

I bullied a handicap today.

What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?

They never get old.

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"

We should stop being mean to orphans.

We should be cruel instead.

Why do they call them a nonce?

Because they go for people who don't have any sense.

Racism.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.