Emergency jokes
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
In the realm of the mind, Where thoughts wander undefined, This sentence emerges, unconfined, A whimsical phrase, quite inclined.
It dances freely, unrestrained, No structure, no rules, it's unchained, A playful verse, with words unfeigned, The first to surface, unrestrained.
It holds no grandeur, nor deep insight, Just a simple thought, taking flight, A fleeting notion, shining bright, In the realm of words, it feels right.
This sentence, unburdened and free, Plays with language, wild and carefree, A tiny poem, as small as can be, Yet it speaks volumes, silently.
So let it wander, let it roam, Across the page, it finds a home, Unfettered by rhythm, it freely roams, This sentence, the first, stands alone.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What is red and puts out fire?
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?