What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital? Reload and keep firing.
Wait 911 is the American emergency number...
whats the difference of your birth and 911 one was planed
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Why was the north tower a bad doctor when the south tower collapsed? Bc the north tower didn’t do cpr
The reason why in the US there emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed rip best pilot ever
Jimmy caught his parents having sex and ask what they were doing and asked if he could join because it looked fun and hid mom ask why and he replied," Well Mommy I see you and the mailman do it and when he leaves he says 'I can't wait to cum back, that was fun!' and now you and Daddy are doing it so I wanted to try!" the dad gets angry at this and scolds the mother saying, "I can't believe you did that when I was gone babe!" the mother was very sad and then the father left and went to get divorce papers and when he left the mother told Jimmy that he'd understand when he was older. 18 years later... Jimmy has a gf and asks her to call him a sus name and she says only in the bed and he agrees, later when they both are having sex Jimmy gf asks if he used a condom or not, and he said that he didn't know what that was so then 9months later she was pregnant but abortion was illegal so she gives birth and puts the child up for adoption. A few years later Jimmy has a good job and his wife now asked to have a child and then she asked if she could call him a sus name while he did he, he said sure, and on they went with their clothes off and under the sheets, Jimmy gets a call from his boss saying he needed to go over really fast it was an emergency and so Jimmy left really fast, however, his wife was very unfaithful and called in a man to come as soon as possible and then they did it, Jimmy came home after 10-18 hours and was very happy and went to tell his wife the great new, but then he heard strange sounds coming from the room and so he wen inside and was shocked to see his father and hs wife having sex, Jimmy though didn't care that his wife had cheated on him he just said, " Well baby, tonights your lucky night" and without any hesitation ripped off his clothes and jumped in the bed and they then had a threesome and the wife said she was very happy that she had been done x2 and when Jimmy asked why she said,"Well I had to dicks in my vagina and now I'm so refreshed!" Jimmy was happy to hear that and then had a woman come over so that his wife and a woman would have a threesome again and so then Jimmy saw that it was his mother and he really didn't want to do it but his wife convinced him too and so he did it and his mother was going for Jimmy's wife more and more until Jimmy no longer was in the threesome and now only Jimmys wife and his mother were doing it, this made Jimmy mad and this bit both of their boobs and they were shocked but then they pinned him down and bit his dick and then grabbed a bottle of alcohol and made him drink until he was drunk and then he started to eat their ass' and then called his father to come to have sex again and then they all had a foursome, the wife then called the police and had then all arrested and said," You all sucked" and Jimmy said," What about you too? You sucked me!" They all died of mental desires in jail. The end.
This is a very confusing story so pls don't say any non-sex things in the comment.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day unfortunately it ended me in hospital tho icu
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone"
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
11th of September is considered 9/11 in America, The twin towers, fell on 9/11 in 2001, But to call an emergency in America you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialled that correctly
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant. So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Ok so one time a deaf kid got in to a car accident but he didnt herd in on the new
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire? Cuz he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning fortunately no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the materinity ward was put on lockdown
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am
The 911 people really dint scramble fast enough so they got folded like and omelet
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids when he came out the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire , they called him hot wheels
Paralyzed Man: * gets up * I’m out of here
Blind Man : Did that paralyzed man just get up
Deaf Man : did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up
Mute Man: did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
Dead Man: did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say didt that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
Doctor: * calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency
Doctor: yes uh, a “normal” person just said taht did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up
911 service: * hangs up*
