911 what's your emergency burning in toaster toast? yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast set fir to my forest
My bother apparently has this thing called "asthma", anyways I took his vape away today and he was lying on the floor gasping for air lol. He must really be addicted to it.
Obama, Trump and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children! Trump Screw the women and children! Clinton: Do you think we have time...?
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
911, what’s your emergency? I asked, and listening to the quiet sobs of a litte kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me” the girl said and cried making me freeze on the spot as i recognized my daughter’s voice.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them saying "God will surely save me."
The medical team tries to help him but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B**** I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
I hate when people make 911 jokes, im just blown away.
I wish 911 was in December because the poor farm feilds
Everytime i tell a 911 joke, it bombs
Fastest story readers are 911 victims
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.
What did the police say on the tv during 9/11... Call 911
I was playing football with my friends and i got tackled and got a penalty suddenly the ground started shaking and penaldo emerged from the mud and he till the penalty but since it wasn’t andorra he missed. Shame on you penaldo!
Whenever I make a 911 joke it bombs
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
why did the ball person go to the docter
He was kicked in the balls
Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
