A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
i called the suicide hotline and he suggested i drew on myself to distract myself. i replied id get ink poisoning
wouldnt recommend the police came
i was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled " do you know CPR?" i replied "i know the entire alphabet!" we all laughed and laughed, well. except one person
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire HOTWHEELS
Among us is a game (skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill every one, do this sound similar on September 11, 2001...
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 9/1/1.
what is it called when someone is in a wheel chair and in a fire?
(hot wheels...)
the terrorists lost there landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closet building becuse religon
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the colour of 911?
Plane.
What is the fasted way to see 911?
Plane.
So little Johnny was waking to the bath room and he said grandma said why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help
how do i get out of the toilet seat help me please im very stuck
What world record did the people in 911 get the world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
*in the hospital* paralyzed kid : I'm out *walks out the room* blind kid : you can walk?! mute kid : you can see?! deaf kid : you can talk?! doctor : wut the f(beep)k
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face I offered to call an ambulance but he said he was fine
Flag of Congo - Kinshasa @osowxvyy I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! i wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
