Either Jokes

if you hit a child that's child abuse. if you hit a family member that's abuse. if you kill either, it's murder for some reason. if it's a whole family, its genocide for another reason.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic. I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, ore lose it forever.

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”

What's do an abortion and a baby have in common? The mom doesn't want either of them

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested”. The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?”. The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish”.

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ̈I will go ask God! ̈ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ̈You are what you are! ̈ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ̈What is wrong? ̈ The zebra answers, ̈Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ́You are what you are! ́ ̈ His friend says, ̈Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ́You is what you is! ́

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making into a house and halucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies arent real. You cant and will never get a home"

Next day they make cardboard parents so i threw that away and said "May attention to reality, you will never get parents:

Next day they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again I said "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent" The orphan responded with "Oh really?! How so" I just simply said "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat out old people!"

"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe " " why?" "Because I want to hang"

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull ? It’s either one or the udder

What do Jesus and I have in common? No one knows my real bday either

id tell a joke about how my mom was abusive but i either forgot everything or she just wasn't there

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them

Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi

hey gwen, listen, i know your on this app. fake or not. I love you either way. please, find this faker and finish her off for whats she's done, real Gwen.

*your a real best Gwen*

Luckily for your mirrors can't talk and luckily for you they can't laugh either

Women are like rolls of toilet paper they are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot and they deal with a lot of s##t.

Funny how Hawking rhymes with talking and walking and he can't do either. And first 4 letters of his Christian name spells step and he also can't do that.