My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his Grandmothers nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still waring them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. 2 of my best friends have it and its actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. Its really not funny to joke about depression.
IN memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the jackson Chocolte ice cream, it is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
So I was watching tv right? then i f..ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs "wtf"
A man and a woman get married. The woman was Retired hooker. The man was a poet. The man said as they did 69, you taste better than my most delecious gormet meal. The woman said, well you aren’t too bad either. But the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop. They dot divorced that night.
RAPE 9/11 ABORTION ORPHAN MURDER DEAD KILL DRUGS what makes all these categories so familiar? either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life. I don't care about her life either hahahaha!!;)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What does 9/11 and covid-19 have in common? I couldn't give a fuck about either
I have two things i wanna say: 1. when ppl swear stop taking it so fucking literally. if someone calls u a bitch, they're not calling u a female dog. if they call u a cunt, they're not calling u a woman's private part, they r calling u either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby or something along those lines. ffs 2. wtf
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did dad man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Why can you dsy Kobe even though you missed? Because he didnt land either
When I nailed the quiz my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
oof.
Did you walk up Stephen Hawkins drive
Don’t worry he didn’t either
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday. But, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
your hairline can fit a truck without toching either side
