I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions...
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?" Doctor: "To the morgue." Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor." Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No,he hasn't either.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible
Either you have double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in cycle of “go ask your mom”
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either
it’s just true
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target? The drone guy didn't know either.
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
Me: have you ever tried african food
You: no
Me: they haven't either
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also In a way kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wished you could F but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't...............
