Education jokes

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.

Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.

Now I got a 31 on the ACT.

Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,

Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.