Education jokes

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Why are Asians good at math?

Because the dog can’t eat their homework.

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.

"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

What is a pedophile's favorite age range?

9-11.

Why did the rapper go to school?

To improve his FLOW-CULUS.

Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

Hahahahaha......... Autism.

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.