E-commerce jokes

Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?

He puts his PJ-Amazon!

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?

He heard boys' pants were half off!

What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?

Two beeps went off.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!