I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do ðŸ˜.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.
Where are crackheads from?
OHIGHo
Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
Grass for lash.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
