Door jokes
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
Double it and give it to the next person
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."
What do you call a Mexican door?
Dora.
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.