Door jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."
What do you call a Mexican door?
Dora.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.