Dont jokes
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.
Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"
Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".
I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
Nook 182 is Blink 182 but Animal Crossing ( don’t take it down this time
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
My balls when I see Tazzaro: boioioioioioing.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Why are transgender people like confused kids?
Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Don't click the link.