Dont jokes
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Why can’t orphans use computers?
Because they don’t have a homepage.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.