Dont jokes
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
Why can’t orphans use computers?
Because they don’t have a homepage.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.