Dont

Dont jokes

Kid

Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?

Because they're the ones who made the toys.

Technology

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

Foreskin

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Memes

Difference

Twin Towers

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

Apple

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.

Twin Towers

dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(

Friend

Friend: Wanna hear a joke?

Other Friend: Sure.

Friend: Pussy.

Other Friend: I don't get it.

Friend: And you never will.

Parent

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

  • 4
  • Phone Call

    Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

    answer the phone with this:

    "Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"

    or

    "Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"

    Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.

    Race

    Why can't two Asians make a white baby?

    Because two wongs don't make a white.

    Dad

    I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.

    Santa

    Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.