Dont jokes

So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.

He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"

Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?

They don't know what a house is.

dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(

Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?

Because they're the ones who made the toys.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.

What do you call an autistic person? Names.

I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.

I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

Friend: Wanna hear a joke?

Other Friend: Sure.

Friend: Pussy.

Other Friend: I don't get it.

Friend: And you never will.

Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this:

"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"

or

"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"

Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

Why can't two Asians make a white baby?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

Don't do suicide, that shit kills.

Sister: I don't want to do it, but...

Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.