Dont jokes
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.