Dont jokes

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.

Why aren't koalas actual bears?

Because they don't meet the koalafications.

My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Because they make the toys.

Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

Mom: ❓❓❓

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.

Guy: I don't, I see your mom.

This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.

My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.

I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."

Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"

I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.

Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.

So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.

He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"