Dont Jokes

Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

Little johnnys teacher asks him "Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?" little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.

Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: ........ oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.

my pencil sharpener when i bleed: aAnd i dont really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life

One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said "I dont know it all happed to fast"!

Dont worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head

it's not that i dont get the laugh but most of you need to read thru what's already been posted cause everybody's saying the same shit.

I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

dont worry stephen hawking isnt dead. they have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a usb.

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

What do you call an lgbtq person getting grilled? lgbbq

i made it DONT COPY!!!

i dont struggle with depression, im used to it

I dont like 9 11 jokes they have a tendency to crash and burn

Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?" Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now." Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff." Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.

So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either....”