Dont jokes
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.
And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
drew here freshfry you are almost deadfry! I forgive you, just don't do it again. You know what I am talking about!
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.