Dont jokes
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
Peter: *curses*
Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?
Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.
Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.