Dont jokes

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

I don't think we should eliminate the LGBT.

However-

All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.

I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.

We're no strangers to Aaron. You know the rules and so do I (do I). A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.

We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it). Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on). We know the game and we're Aaron play it. And if you ask me how I'm feeling. Don't tell me you're too blind to see. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.

Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.

We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (to say it). Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on). We know the game and we're Aaron play it. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.

"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"

"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute!"

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Why are short people sad?

Don't judge though, it's crap but...

Because they couldn't reach happiness.

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Me: Oh, I wan-

Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.