Dont jokes
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Don't listen.
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
Did you know Africans don’t have to be black?
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.