Dont jokes

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always follow the beat.

Why don't you fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

Why don't rappers ever gamble?

Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.

You like kissing boys, don't you?

Don't listen.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.

Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?

A: You don't have to buy dog food.

Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.

I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.

"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."

What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?

You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.

I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.

How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?

None.

Because I don't make jokes.

You know what they call pineapples in Paris?

I don't know, what?

Anus.

Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?

Because they don't like Dick's!