Dont jokes
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Why are short people sad?
Don't judge though, it's crap but...
Because they couldn't reach happiness.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
experiment
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.
How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?
Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.
What is the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.