Dont jokes

Why are orphans sad?

Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.

Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.

Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.

Why don't we have female magicians?

'Cause the last ones got hanged.

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

Bestfriend @3am: I love you.

Me: Love you too.

*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*

I don't know if this is funny.

Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?

Cause it’s a family business.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?

At least gorillas don't abort their own.

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?

Because they don't have them on the inside.

Why do orphans stay home alone?

Because they don't have parents.

Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.