Dont jokes

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?

He's Dahmer's son @domink.

Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈

If you like this post, you will die!!!! Don’t do it 👿😅😎

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!

Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

Don't be emo, be happy, Nemo!

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

Why don’t Pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys' cocks.

Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.

I don't have a joke. Keep looking.

I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”