My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter, as I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set and the entire animal shelter was burned down. A few hours later I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why, I replied "I couldn't find any" She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First ignore them until they ask you if your going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them would they get on all fours and bark back? After that continue to ignore them.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know, maybe he went BARKING around.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
What is a dog 🐶? A pet
What time do you think 🤔 dogs 🐶 are not happy 😆? Bulldogs
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between 9 year old bun
For some reason when my mom eat hot dogs she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son can anyone tell me why ?
What do you call a house with dog hair? A shed
What does furrys and fastfood lovers have together? They both love hot dogs
What is cats and dogs's favourite story and movie? Romeow and Drooliet!
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of wall street
I went outside to catch some dog but I mist
add me in Roblox wholetthedogsoutyou1 lol who let the dogs out you you you you you
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
Women are like dogs... "Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?" "Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?" "I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
