Dog jokes
What is a dog?
A pet.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down.
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?
To the retail store.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.