Dog jokes
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Why did I shoot my dog?
Because it pissed me offff! Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha! 👌👌😎
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
What da dog doin'?
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching