Dog jokes
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
What’s a homo police dog?
A gay-9.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.