How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
Why did Elsa's dog run away?
Because she let it go!
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
