How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Dog Jokes
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Why did Elsa's dog run away?
Because she let it go!
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
Why canβt an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
