Dog jokes

Top ten dog breeds:

10. Dogs

9. Are

8. Beautiful

7. Animals

6. And

5. Judgement

3. Is

2. Cruel

1. Dachshund

My dog got stuck in my ass, help!

I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...

I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.

A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.

I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.

Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!

What do dogs eat? Dog food.

My dog died.

There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?

(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)

Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.

So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."

What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?

His Boba Pet.

What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.

What did one dog say to another dog? I love you.

What do you call a dog with no tail?

A tail-less dog.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?