Dog jokes
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
What is a dog?
A pet.
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.