Dog jokes
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
NIGGAAA
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.