Dog Jokes

*God creates dog* God: "You are man's best friend"

Dog: "That's pretty sexist"

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage? In a dog pound, people actually want them.

What do you call a dog turd in China? Waste of food

What's the difference between a dog from asian person and a cat from an Asian person? Only the taste

What do orphans have in common with stray dogs? Nothing they are bpth orphans

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like “JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND CLOSE YOUR EYES”

i told siri my dog and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up and i said okay.she asked me knock knock and i said who is there and she said not your dog

What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop? Dog poop touches grass.

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name only the dog comes back.

Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common? Dogs get loved

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years". I walked away shocked but not surprised